After doing housecleaning for a living for more than ten years and becoming more conscientious about my own home organizing skills, I decided that everyone deserved and should have a corner, a cabinet or a drawer where anything goes. A place where all those miscellaneous items that do not belong in any other organized area of the house should be placed. A space where apparent chaos reigned and where it was OK to let it all go…literally! I called this practice The Junk Drawer Principle.
Similarly, I thought, in our behavior or personality there should be one thing in which we allowed ourselves to be disorganized, chaotic; an activity in which we could be uncivilized, unruly, and mean; one part of us in which we let loose and let it all go to hell; our personality’s junk drawer.
The Junk Drawer Principle, as manifested in my personality, used to happen when I got in my car. Normally, I was the nicest man when you met me anywhere. I was caring, loving, genuine, generous, attentive, considerate and forgiving. But when our paths crossed and I was behind the wheel, I was the biggest A-hole you would ever meet. I lost my temper easily with drivers who did not follow my high driving standards. I would swear like a drunken sailor at people for the sole reason on being in MY lane. I was unforgiving and became rude. I used to tailgate people and flash my bright lights at them. In three words, I was UGLY.
Alright, some credit is my due: I stopped flashing my bright lights after I did that to someone driving southbound on the I-5. It had been a long day at work, it was late at night and all I wanted was the warmth of my bed and a good night’s sleep. This driver got in front of me clearly at a slower speed. After almost rear-ending said person, I flashed my bright lights repeatedly. Suddenly, I saw the car veer to the right, almost leaving the road, and then to the left across all the lanes, almost hitting the divider. I proceeded cautiously to pass this person to give them “the look” and, as I was doing so, I saw the sweetest, scared-to-death face of this minute, old, old lady wearing thick glasses.
The thought that came to mind was: If this lady were my grandmother, would I like hearing that she had lost her life because some impatient idiot flashed the bright lights at her making her lost control of her vehicle?
I stopped flashing my bright lights altogether. I figured since my odds of selecting people who deserved such behavior wasn’t 100% accurate, it was best not to do it at all.
Still, following the logic of The Junk Drawer Principle, I always felt entitled to allowing my driving be that aspect of my life in which I didn’t have to improve; that part of my personality and behavior where I didn’t have to be in control, in check. The one thing I could just let go to hell.
That was until I read A greater psychology, the psychological thought of Sri Aurobindo, Edited by A.S Dalal. I was enthralled by the vision and scope of this man’s psychology. His knowledge of Western psychology was astonishing yet, what attracted me the most to it was his inclusion of spiritual development as part of someone’s psychological identity.
It was not an easy book. I had had it for about ten years prior. I remember trying to read it before and I just couldn’t get into it. Well, I finally did and I am a better human for it.
The one thing that impacted me the most was when I read that one’s spiritual growth should have a positive effect and great influence in one’s mind, body, and spirit. It all should be reflected in our being and behavior, in who we are and how we act at any given moment, all the time.
A few months ago my partner and I moved to Desert Hot Springs from San Diego. We still work in San Diego three days a week making our commute of almost 150 miles a solid two hours each way. The two-lane highways connecting the I-15 and the I-10, the 215 and the 60, made my “junk drawer” difficult to bear. I felt so spiritually connected and balanced four days a week but, once I got in the car to go back to San Diego, I just lost it. I couldn’t handle the lane-hogs. I would find myself yelling “SLOW TRAFFIC STAY RIGHT!!!” I couldn’t stand people changing lanes without using their turn signals, talking on their cell phones, tailgating others: all things I had stopped doing long ago.
I found myself becoming one of them, doing all the things I had worked hard to eliminate from my life and I realized that perhaps I still had some growing and learning to do. It was obvious I needed to reacquaint myself with the lessons learned. It was time to practice what I know.
When I find myself aggravated by someone’s driving there are a few techniques that make my life immediately better:
1. I take a deep breath and hold it for 4 seconds allowing myself to really feel the anger; but when I exhale, I visualize all the negative energy in my mind, body and spirit leave along with my body’s toxins. Then I calmly take another gentle breath and focus on a pleasant thought.
2. I give people the benefit of the doubt knowing that it’s not a gift I give them but rather a gift I give myself. After all, we human beings have a tendency to get distracted with our problems, worries, or situations that keep us from being in the moment.
3. I practice compassion. I have no way of knowing the sorrows and suffering that people carry with them everywhere they go, including while driving. If the person in front is suffering or in pain, how could they focus on their driving?
Yes, I have decided that my spiritual growth should be reflected in everything I do. No more “junk drawer” … at least not the way it used to be.
I have since learned that I can still hang on to The Junk Drawer Principle but my junk drawer doesn’t have to be the chaos it used to be. I can still have one aspect of my personality where everything goes, everything but the negative, what I should discard, and what is useless and doesn’t serve me any more.
I can as well have one drawer where I can put all those miscellaneous things that don’t belong in any organized part of the house yet…there is nothing wrong with discarding what I know I will not use and getting good drawer dividers.
Similarly, I thought, in our behavior or personality there should be one thing in which we allowed ourselves to be disorganized, chaotic; an activity in which we could be uncivilized, unruly, and mean; one part of us in which we let loose and let it all go to hell; our personality’s junk drawer.
The Junk Drawer Principle, as manifested in my personality, used to happen when I got in my car. Normally, I was the nicest man when you met me anywhere. I was caring, loving, genuine, generous, attentive, considerate and forgiving. But when our paths crossed and I was behind the wheel, I was the biggest A-hole you would ever meet. I lost my temper easily with drivers who did not follow my high driving standards. I would swear like a drunken sailor at people for the sole reason on being in MY lane. I was unforgiving and became rude. I used to tailgate people and flash my bright lights at them. In three words, I was UGLY.
Alright, some credit is my due: I stopped flashing my bright lights after I did that to someone driving southbound on the I-5. It had been a long day at work, it was late at night and all I wanted was the warmth of my bed and a good night’s sleep. This driver got in front of me clearly at a slower speed. After almost rear-ending said person, I flashed my bright lights repeatedly. Suddenly, I saw the car veer to the right, almost leaving the road, and then to the left across all the lanes, almost hitting the divider. I proceeded cautiously to pass this person to give them “the look” and, as I was doing so, I saw the sweetest, scared-to-death face of this minute, old, old lady wearing thick glasses.
The thought that came to mind was: If this lady were my grandmother, would I like hearing that she had lost her life because some impatient idiot flashed the bright lights at her making her lost control of her vehicle?
I stopped flashing my bright lights altogether. I figured since my odds of selecting people who deserved such behavior wasn’t 100% accurate, it was best not to do it at all.
Still, following the logic of The Junk Drawer Principle, I always felt entitled to allowing my driving be that aspect of my life in which I didn’t have to improve; that part of my personality and behavior where I didn’t have to be in control, in check. The one thing I could just let go to hell.
That was until I read A greater psychology, the psychological thought of Sri Aurobindo, Edited by A.S Dalal. I was enthralled by the vision and scope of this man’s psychology. His knowledge of Western psychology was astonishing yet, what attracted me the most to it was his inclusion of spiritual development as part of someone’s psychological identity.
It was not an easy book. I had had it for about ten years prior. I remember trying to read it before and I just couldn’t get into it. Well, I finally did and I am a better human for it.
The one thing that impacted me the most was when I read that one’s spiritual growth should have a positive effect and great influence in one’s mind, body, and spirit. It all should be reflected in our being and behavior, in who we are and how we act at any given moment, all the time.
A few months ago my partner and I moved to Desert Hot Springs from San Diego. We still work in San Diego three days a week making our commute of almost 150 miles a solid two hours each way. The two-lane highways connecting the I-15 and the I-10, the 215 and the 60, made my “junk drawer” difficult to bear. I felt so spiritually connected and balanced four days a week but, once I got in the car to go back to San Diego, I just lost it. I couldn’t handle the lane-hogs. I would find myself yelling “SLOW TRAFFIC STAY RIGHT!!!” I couldn’t stand people changing lanes without using their turn signals, talking on their cell phones, tailgating others: all things I had stopped doing long ago.
I found myself becoming one of them, doing all the things I had worked hard to eliminate from my life and I realized that perhaps I still had some growing and learning to do. It was obvious I needed to reacquaint myself with the lessons learned. It was time to practice what I know.
When I find myself aggravated by someone’s driving there are a few techniques that make my life immediately better:
1. I take a deep breath and hold it for 4 seconds allowing myself to really feel the anger; but when I exhale, I visualize all the negative energy in my mind, body and spirit leave along with my body’s toxins. Then I calmly take another gentle breath and focus on a pleasant thought.
2. I give people the benefit of the doubt knowing that it’s not a gift I give them but rather a gift I give myself. After all, we human beings have a tendency to get distracted with our problems, worries, or situations that keep us from being in the moment.
3. I practice compassion. I have no way of knowing the sorrows and suffering that people carry with them everywhere they go, including while driving. If the person in front is suffering or in pain, how could they focus on their driving?
Yes, I have decided that my spiritual growth should be reflected in everything I do. No more “junk drawer” … at least not the way it used to be.
I have since learned that I can still hang on to The Junk Drawer Principle but my junk drawer doesn’t have to be the chaos it used to be. I can still have one aspect of my personality where everything goes, everything but the negative, what I should discard, and what is useless and doesn’t serve me any more.
I can as well have one drawer where I can put all those miscellaneous things that don’t belong in any organized part of the house yet…there is nothing wrong with discarding what I know I will not use and getting good drawer dividers.
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